For Him
by Ellie-Isabella99
Summary: Mara never thought she'd fall in love so quickly, but then again, she never thought she'd fall in love with Jerome Clarke. But when she did, Mara fell hard.
1. Chapter 1

"_What? _How could you?" Mara felt tears stinging her eyes and couldn't find the strength within her to stop them. Freely streaming down her flushed cheeks, Jerome was able to see what a vulnerable state she was in. She cursed her weakness- she didn't want him to see her cry, he'd think she was even more of an idiot than he already did. Because he obviously thought she was an idiot to have not seen the signs, to have not noticed the way he suddenly looked at _her_. The awful thing was that she had, she could tell just by the way his eyes no longer shone when he looked at Mara that something had changed for him. But not for her, never for her…

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry okay, what more can I say?" Jerome sifted his hand through his bronze locks, his guilt-ridden expression showing Mara exactly what she needed to see. For he didn't look heart-broken that he'd crushed his girlfriend's heart; he didn't even look upset. He just looked guilty.

"THAT YOU DON'T LOVE HER! That you could _never_ love her because you _love me_!" she screamed, not even caring anymore that tears raced down her face, she was even happy about it. He needed to see how much he had wounded her, how she already felt dead inside.

"Mara, I do love you-

"NO, you can't SAY THAT! You love someone unconditionally, you love someone so much that it _hurts_, you love someone so much that it feels like a dagger in your side when you notice them start to drift away from you. When you feel physically sick when you notice that suddenly, you're not the only person they look at in that way. When you break down into tears just thinking about the _possibility _that there's someone else. Because that's how I love you, Jerome. That's how I've _always _loved you" she cried at him, but her words didn't puncture him the way that they should have.

In her mind, _he_ wouldn't have even let her finish what she was saying. _He _would have told her, screamed at her even, that it wasn't true what she was thinking. That _he loved her_, there was no two ways about it. _He _would have wrapped her up in a momentous kiss that made all their other kisses seem pathetic and passionless. But she knew that _he _was gone, this new Jerome wasn't the one that had fallen in love with her all those years ago and just waited unwaveringly for her to give him a chance. This new Jerome wasn't the one who would have done all those things. This new Jerome was the one who was slowly but steadily developing feelings for someone other than Mara, for someone who he'd just kissed. But it didn't matter to Mara, because she loved both of them. That's what made this so hard.

"…What do you want me to say?" he shrugged, sighing exasperatedly. He wasn't even fighting anymore, this was him giving up and it was killing her.

"I want you to tell me that you don't love her" she whispered, trying so _damn hard _not to look into his eyes. Those void, impassive eyes that only she could read would draw her in if she couldn't control her urges. But it was too much, _he _was too much. And so she gave in, but so wished she hadn't when she saw how his eyes darkened in sadness, not in defiance.

The silence was suffocating and she couldn't take any more of it.

"Oh my god…" she exclaimed, immediately clamping her hands over her mouth just letting herself succumb to the harsh sobs that rocked her body.

"Mara, plea-

"_No_, no, NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! YOU CAN'T _DUMP _ME AND THEN TRY TO COMFORT ME AFTERWARDS!?" she screamed, pushing him away from her.

"Dump you? We're breaking up?" he looked horrified, just assuming that this was another 'Jara disagreement' as Amber had begun to refer to them, every time him and Mara had quarrelled.

"You actually believe that after you just told me that you kissed another girl and can't even say that you don't love her, we're going to stay together?" she laughed hysterically, not feeling like real laughter at all.

The way his mind worked just boggled Mara; how could he be so idiotic and insensitive? Even if she _considered _taking him back after _cheating _on her with another girl, did he not realise how painful that would be for her? Every time she'd see Willow, it'd be the same heart wrenching experience all over again. Like a blade reopening the same wound time after time- how could she deal with that endless suffering? Just knowing that, for that one moment, he'd chosen her over Mara.

But that was only the minority of the reasons they wouldn't stay together, that they _couldn't _stay together. Mara loved Jerome with every ounce of herself. She'd spent the first half of her life doubting herself, struggling under the burden of expectations. Her parents expectations to be the sporty child they dreamed of, all of her past teacher's expectations that she'd ace every one of their tests, and society's expectations for her to be beautiful. But she wasn't any of these things. There was always a more athletic girl, a smarter girl, a prettier girl. She knew she wasn't perfect, but just being with Jerome made all her insecurities become lost in the passing wind. He made her heart flutter in all the ways she'd never experienced before, his touch was addicting and his kisses were intoxicating. All she wanted, for every minute of every day was to be with him. To be able to call herself _his_.

But what made this all possible was that he felt the exact same way about her. That when he looked into her eyes, he could see nothing more perfect. Being with someone who didn't love you was the worst torture that Mara could imagine. Just knowing that, given the choice, he could happily be with Willow if Mara was to end things stopped her from even considering fighting for this to work. Her heart tore and burnt into ashes the moment he told her what had happened between the two, and he didn't have enough love for her to put it back together again. He would forever hold her heart in his chest, but she no longer held his.

"I'm sorry it all had to happen this way" he stated honestly, pain etched into his eyes. This was his goodbye, his 'I hope we can still be friends' attempt, and it didn't even bother her to see him upset. Because she knew that he could run to _her _and he'd easily forget about all of this. Forget about Mara.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been three days since those dreaded words were snatched from Jerome's lips; three days since Mara's world was torn away from any happiness she once held close; and three days since 'Jillow' had been made official.

Now to say that Mara was alright was a lie. To say that Mara was coping was appropriate. So there she was, coping through seeing the boy she was still irrevocably and undoubtedly in love with discover his new relationship with the girl she'd disliked since they'd first met and she'd never felt more alone. It wasn't because her friends had taken Jerome's side in all of this, because in actual fact, a lot of them were holding him to blame and wouldn't even spare him a glance because of what he did to Mara. And for that, she was somewhat grateful. No, the reason that Mara felt so alone was because of the pitiable looks that she'd seen many a time from her housemates, and the pity that always hung unwanted in the air like a bad smell that she just couldn't shake. No matter how many over-enthusiastic smiles she threw their way or reassuring words that she calmly bestowed upon them, they always had the same 'poor Mara' air about them. And it was driving her nuts.

It had even gotten to the point where she couldn't tolerate being in the same room as them anymore, which of course to them seemed like she couldn't be in the same room as _Jerome _anymore which made them even more remorseful. Mara actually thought she was dealing with the situation quite well, from what people could gather from her exterior. There were polite smiles when needed, skilful timing of entrances and exits and even a few 'Jerome, can you pass me the potatoes please'. She wasn't being the rude ex that Patricia would have been, the awkward ex that Nina would have been or even the publicly depressed ex that Amber would have been. She was the Mara ex- she was the friendly one who didn't cause a scene in public, who dealt with her emotions behind closed doors.

And so because of this, she found herself late in the afternoon sun, perched on the ground against an old tree re-reading The Hunger Games. She was just getting to the part where they enter the cornucopia when Eddie sauntered up to her and sat down right at the side of where she was reading.

"Whatcha doing?" he nudged her shoulder playfully, gaining her attention away from her book as she quickly held her page with a bookmark and turned to him.

"Plotting world domination" she replied cheekily, raising her eyebrows at Eddie as he rolled his eyes at her sarcasm.

"Ha ha, you're so funny" he mockingly replied before they settled into a comfortable silence. Mara appreciated the fact that Eddie had taken the time to come out here and speak to her, but she'd really rather just be left alone. She didn't need another one of _those _chats, the ones that everyone thought appropriate for Mara to have and get 'all her feelings' off of her chest. She'd had way too many feeble attempts of these over the past few days, and she really wasn't looking forward to yet another one.

"Listen Eddie, if you're here to comfort me or to try and make me feel better about Jerome, then don't. I _really _don't want to talk about this, or plan revenge, or find another guy to get over him with. What I really want is for everyone to quit treating me like a delicate piece of porcelain that could shatter at any minute, and to stop wearing those empathetic looks that drive me up the wall" she huffed, thinking back on everyone's suggestions so far. She could only imagine what sort of pick me up prank Eddie had intended on proposing to make her feel better. What people didn't understand is that she couldn't feel _worse _right now, and their meagre attempts of cheering her up weren't going to achieve anything. Only time could get Mara through the worst of this, and hell did she need a lot of it.

"I'm not gonna baby you Mara and ask how you're feeling cos I'm about ninety nine percent sure that you're feeling pretty crappy. I just thought that you could do with some company since you've decided to withdraw yourself from all public communication" he raised his eyebrows playfully, attempting to make a joke but still express his concern at the same time.

Mara sighed, realising that it wasn't portraying her in the best light, hiding herself away from any potential contact with a certain ex of hers. And although she could hardly bare all the sympathetic looks she received from her friends, she'd missed them, so she decided that she'd had enough of wallowing in her own self-pity. She'd grin and bear any twinges to her heart Jerome continuously plucked and insert herself back into reality.

"I know I haven't been the most interactive lately. But it's just _so hard_…" she whispered, crinkling her eyes shut in exhaustion from the situation.

"You still love him?" Eddie asked, although he knew there wasn't much point in the question- he could already see the answer stained in Mara's eyes.

"More than anything" she laughed sardonically, because it was so painful that it was funny. A small part of her had hoped that because she was distancing herself from Jerome (along with basically all her housemates) that her feelings might slowly begin to fade. But this was a very small part of her, and she was correct in assuming that it wasn't a big hope to grasp onto. If anything, she longed for his touch more as it seemed that her heart was having withdrawal symptoms and ached in his absence. The thought of it sent her woozy.

"Listen, I'm here if you ever want to talk Mara. And if you don't, then please just come back to the house. We all miss you and your nerdy presence" he winked at her teasingly, before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and bringing her in for a comforting hug.

Eddie was a great friend to talk to, because he could be serious when he needed to be and was thought appropriate but his good-hearted nature just made your load seem a little less heavy and your smile a little easier to access.

Suddenly, a clearing of the throat interrupted their embrace and they turned to see Jerome staring down at them with fire burning behind his pupils. Mara and Eddie, still sat on the floor close enough that their knees were brushing, looked up at Jerome's towering form glaring down at them.

"What's going on here?" he spoke with an unnatural coolness to his voice, showing Mara just how forced it was.

Silently giddy on the outside but potentially irritated on the inside, Mara couldn't process his nerve. From how long she'd been with Jerome and had learned his every emotion and tell-tale signs of them, she could quite successfully determine that the emotion of which he was showing right now was jealousy. But how, after he'd the one who had another girl on the go and had been the one to cheat on Mara, could he conceivably be jealous? He had no right, none at all. She could hug whoever she damn well pleases! Hell, she could snog Eddie's face off right now and Jerome shouldn't give a damn because she was no longer his to get jealous over. And so Mara decided to play up to this.

"What do you want Jerome?" she spoke with hostility in her voice, tired of keeping up the whole 'yes Jerome', 'no Jerome', 'three bags full Jerome' attitude. She purposefully ignored his question, noticing how his nostrils flared at the simple movement of lacing her fingers through Eddie's. Although hesitant at first, though probably just a consequence of shock, Eddie didn't pull away but simply squeezed her hand reassuringly before turning back to Jerome with a smug smirk whipped on his face.

"Trudy told me to come and get you guys for dinner" he replied in a monotone, before turning swiftly on his heel and heading back towards the house. Ensuring that he was still within hearing distance, she laughed flirtatiously, pretending to find something that Eddie had said positively hilarious. This apparently made him in a huff, judging by the structure of his shoulders. As if to support that thought, the door slammed shut with such force that Mara would be surprised if the hinges hadn't begun to loosen.

"Care to explain" Eddie chuckled as his eyes regarded Mara carefully as she withdrew her hand from his.

"Sorry" she replied sheepishly before turning into a full blown grin at his amused expression, "but hey, he was the one who jealously misinterpreted our friendly hug. I just simply…"

"…added fuel to the flame" Eddie finished before returning to his feet and reaching out to help Mara do the same.

"Might as well have a bit of fun with the situation" she grinned, so happy to finally have a reason to be happy. Friends- that's all she needed.


	3. Chapter 3

After that afternoon, Mara had hope. After that night, Mara had misery. And anguish. And a giant heart sized hole torn from her fragmented body. Seeing the old ghost of a jealous flame toy with Jerome's emotions at the sight of Mara and Eddie had ignited a slight optimism inside of her. Her long for his touch and affections had been an endless torture that seemed to alight in anticipation of a revisit. She thought that maybe all he needed was to see Mara with someone else to realise how strongly his feelings for her still pumped through his body like blood- a necessity that he needed to live. She thought that he'd break it off with stupid Willow and that they could give it another shot. What she didn't expect was to find herself torn into a million tiny pieces once again, with Jerome scribed on every single slice.

She loved him so much that she just wanted him to be happy, regardless of if it was with her or not. But not like this, where he was just rubbing salt into her wounds and got to play happy couples with Willow while he watched Mara's face crumple in sheer desperation for it to stop. She'd done as Eddie had said and finally made an appearance at the house other than the mandatory meals that she had stuck to just briefly attending. She lounged around with her friends, she talked, she laughed, she _smiled_ and she felt like her burden had been lifted just ever so slightly. For she had her friends, no matter whatever else happened to her. But that happy, content feeling had been promptly swiped from her grasping heart as she saw Jerome and Willow entering the dining room, hand in hand.

She knew that she couldn't cope with it; that even this was pushing Mara's boundaries, but she couldn't just leave after that either. For then people would have known the reason why she ran, the reason she was being so pathetic and weak. So she gritted her teeth and forged onwards through the entire meal (of which Willow had been welcomed to join them by Trudy) and could feel the sympathetic looks from her housemates begin to resurface.

And it's not like they were even being sensitive towards her; they were being _insensitive_! She could see the gleam in Willow's eyes as she passionately attacked Jerome's lips with her own, not caring that not only was it inappropriate at the dinner table in a room full of people, but how small she was making Mara feel. After far too long of the lovey dovey behaviour, Patricia's disgusted face turned towards Mara.

"I'm sorry Mara, but may I?" she requested permission, absolutely exasperated at the downright rudeness and cruel behaviour she was seeing being performed by Jerome and Willow. Knowing exactly what she was planning on doing (this was Patricia, after all) Mara smiled at her lightly, replying with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

"Sure, be my guest" she sighed, content at the sound of the ice cold water slowly pouring from the water pitcher and the satisfying screech that bellowed from Willow and Jerome, suddenly finding themselves very wet and angry people.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Willow screamed, flapping her arms about like a deranged butterfly. Wait, Mara rethought that last statement realising that it was too harsh and insulting to the beautiful creature that is a butterfly, and found that it was more fitting to compare Willow to an ass. And a complete one, at that.

"What the hell is my problem? What the hell is _your _problem?! Put Jerome down for two minutes to realise that you're making the rest of us want to vomit in your mouths" she mimed gagging, causing a reel of laughter to sound from around the table.

Utterly offended at everyone's reactions and downright embarrassed, she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, attempting to say something back to Patricia but just left her looking like a whimpering goldfish.

Patricia mocked her snivelling puppy dog face, once again enveloping the room in laughter and snickering, before rolling her eyes and continuing her onslaught.

"Please, just _leave_. You're not even in this house you whiny cow!" Patricia exclaimed, disdainfully, resulting in Willow scraping her chair back from the table and leaving with a very annoyed expression painted on her features.

At the exit of Willow (and Jerome soon after, realising that if he didn't follow his girlfriend he'd probably be in the dog house for the rest of the week) the whole room began to clap and whoop loudly as Patricia stood to take her bow. The cheering never ceased to die down as Mara grinned and laughed along with her friends, even hearing a wolf whistle or two.

"Thanks for that Patricia" she smiled gratefully at the auburn haired girl who'd just returned to her seat. This was one of those rare moments where Mara was in an 'I don't need _him _when I've got great friends' moods, and it felt wonderful. And it was true, they were all amazing friends to Mara and being so supportive, even if their supportive glances occasionally rubbed Mara the wrong way. Sure, the frequent consoling looks were annoying but at least it showed they _care_. And frankly, Mara was very happy for that to continue now that she could see to what extent her friends were willing to stand up for her to. An icy, wet, revenge soaking from Patricia was the great push she needed; she was longer willing to hide herself away because of _them_. Why should she suffer when she'd done no wrong?

"Please, don't thank me. That was as much for the rest of us as it was for you- they were making me feel physically sick" she shuddered, once again emitting a smile from Mara's saddened face.

And this was how the night continued; with smiles, and laughter, and Mara realised that this was one of the best nights she'd spent since before Willow entered their lives and drove a wedge between her and Jerome. But hey, she wasn't bitter, she was surprisingly joyful given the circumstances. But that was mostly due to the fact that she was currently surrounded by people who loved her, and even though it wasn't the type of love she _wanted_, it was the type of love she _needed_. However, as nice as that all was, she was almost certain that those happy walls she was building up around her were going to crumble down as soon as she saw Jerome again. But while she was in the company of her friends, nothing could penetrate her mood.

Have you heard of the saying nothing good ever lasts? Well Mara felt that this was highly applicable to what happened _after _her happy night with her housemates.

She was right to have that tiny seed of doubt in her mind about her good mood, how she couldn't count on it lasting. For after a long night with her friends, she decided to head upstairs for an early night. She'd be lying if she said that her recent sleep deprivation had nothing to do with her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend and so, now she felt mildly at peace with the situation highly due to the support of her friends, she thought that she'd try her hand at a peaceful night. It was on her way to her bedroom, that her heart got stuck in her throat and she had to try to swallow it down into her hollow chest again. As she'd made her way towards the stairs, she'd accidentally stumbled across Jerome and Willow 'sucking face' (as Patricia liked to call it) and Mara felt her good mood diminish in mere seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey there Hermione" Eddie sauntered over to Mara, slinging his arm over her shoulders.

Seeing Mara walking through the school halls towards their next class on her own, Eddie decided to join her and maybe put a smile back onto her face. Eddie had heard from Patricia who'd been told by a distraught Mara what had happened when she'd gone up to bed the previous night and hadn't seen a smile from her since.

"Hermione? Isn't that what you call Patricia?" Mara mused, slightly uplifted by the company of Eddie and his impenetrable, cheeky schoolboy good mood. It was funny to her how he'd decided to use the same nick name that he used for his girlfriend on her, imagining what Patricia would have to say about it if she heard. Or rather, hit than say; they had an odd relationship.

"Meh, it suits you better. With the whole nerd thing you've got going on" he smirked at her, enjoying the defiant smile she sent back at him. As a way of response, she bumped her hip with his, causing her to stumble slightly, surprised at the strength he held. Reaching out to steady her, Eddie chuckled at her confounded expression.

"Shouldn't you be the one to fall after I bumped into you?" she frowned playfully, which just made him laugh more.

"What can I say, I'm just incredibly strong?" he retorted, popping his collar and beginning to strut down the corridor in mock attitude.

"Wow, you got swag, my friend" Mara began to wheeze out between hordes of laughter.

It was nice, being able to mess around with Eddie and he liked the fact that he'd been the one to elicit the smile from her. However, their playful conversation was interrupted by an exceptionally loud slam of a locker. Turning to the direction of the sound, Eddie and Mara found a jealous Jerome glaring at where their hands brushed gently at their sides.

Smirking ever so slightly, Eddie ever so casually leaned in and began to whisper in Mara's ear "may as well give him something real to be jealous about seen as he's clearly not over you" Eddie pulled back, flirtatiously tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. A slight blush coloured her carved cheeks at this, which was exactly the type of reaction he was hoping for. Though it was all very cliché of them, Eddie wanted to do everything he could to rile Jerome up. Mara was a great catch and quite honestly, he had no clue how Jerome had the brains to let that go. Especially as he had always seen, and could still see, how much she meant to him. Whether he fancied Willow or not, he _loved _Mara and that much was plain to see. Boys could be such idiots at times, especially when it came to their feelings, Eddie wasn't afraid to admit. And so he felt that a small part of this was his responsibility to help push Jerome back to what he loved- Mara.

Reaching in for a slightly longer than applicable for friends hug, Eddie winked over Mara's shoulder at Patricia who stood arms folded in the doorway with a none too impressed expression plastered onto her face. With an explanatory glance towards Jerome, a look of understanding passed across Patricia's face on seeing the spark of jealousy enrage Jerome's features. Instead, a wide smirk now spread across her face as Eddie retreated from his embrace with Mara and headed over to where Patricia stood and gave her quick kiss on the cheek, exclaiming "my work here is down" before heading down the corridor to their next class.

* * *

It was the end of second period when Mara trailed out of the classroom at the back of her peers, heading out for break. She was mindlessly humming an old lullaby her father had taught her when she was a small child, just about to leave the doorway when her action was countered by Jerome.

"Excuse me" she mumbled through her clenched teeth, attempting to get around him. But every step she took, from left to right, he stood in front of her to block her way.

Now it wasn't one those cliché accidental scenes that you see in every bad rom com; no, Jerome was purposefully keeping Mara there and Mara was annoyed almost as much as she could see Jerome was.

"Mara…" he tried to get her attention, for she was looking in every direction but at him. She just couldn't- not after yesterday, after what she'd seen. He'd broken her heart in a million ways, a million times already and he just kept coming back to reopen her wounds that were never fully healed to begin with.

"What do you want Jerome?" she sighed, finally reaching his eyes and trying her hardest to give her most convincing glare. But Jerome could see the softening in her gaze as she looked into his eyes, the eyes he'd missed endlessly for the past four days. As hard as she wanted to or tried, she couldn't hold back the pain and anguish that filled her eyes every time she saw him. And that killed _him_.

"What's going on between you and Eddie?" he growled, eyes as cold as she'd ever seen them before. She knew he was jealous, but he had absolutely no right to be. He'd made his bed, he could god damn lay in it.

"I really don't see how that's any of your business" she replied testily, although she knew that there was undeniably nothing going on between her and Eddie, or at least nothing more than a good friendship. But it still mattered to her that he was jealous when it seemed like she was with another guy, and even though she hated him for it, it still sent a swarm of butterflies fluttering around her stomach.

"Mara, is Eddie harassing you?" he snarled at her, determined to find out just what was going on between the two of them. Mara, though slightly taken aback by the question, regained her composure and slowly but surely replied in a monotone that ensured not to show any emotion. He didn't need to know that this mere conversation with her was leaving Mara slightly thrilled on the inside.

"No, Eddie is most certainly not 'harassing me'. And we are most certainly not an item, as I take it that's what you was insinuating. All he's done is comfort me, like a good friend should. He would never do that to Patricia, and neither would I. Besides, some of us take longer than a few hours to get over a break-up" Mara spat, and although he could hear the venom intended for her words, she couldn't control the emotion that overwhelmed her eyes. Pools of sadness clouded her vision and at that moment, Jerome could see right through her façade; she missed him.

Seeing the pained look in her eyes, he reached forward to brush her cheek with his fingertips and after an initial flutter at his touch where she couldn't help but close her eyes and inhale deeply trying her best not to break down and cry, she shook her head and began to pull away.

"Stop it, stop it!" she cried, biting her lip to stop herself from saying anything she'd regret, everything her heart screamed at her to say.

"Mara, please-"

"No, stop tormenting me like this! You've _made_ your choice Jerome, you can't do this anymore!" she exclaimed, still trying to get past him. But he simply held her shoulders in his hands, forcing her to capture his eyes in a steady gaze.

"…But what if I made a mistake? What if I did something incredibly stupid and just want things the way they were? What if I miss the girl I'm in love with and intensely regret the day I ever even considered leaving her?" he explained with such sincerity and pain coating his words that Mara had no choice but to believe him.

His eyes screamed '_forgive me_!" and it was hard; so god damn hard. She loved him more than anyone she'd ever been with, she'd never been with someone the way she'd been with Jerome. He was her first love and the only love she'd ever shared and losing him was the most painful experience she'd ever had to go through. But that's why she just couldn't accept anything that he was saying- he'd put her through so much, to just try and take it all back a few days later? No.

"Then you've just lost the girl you're in love with because of a mistake, Jerome"

"No, I haven't lost you, not yet" he assured her, shaking his head and brushing a hand through his hair, a sure sign to Mara that he was nervous.

"Jerome-

"_No _Mara, I refuse to listen to anything you have to say about how there's no chance for us. I know that I hurt you, and I know that it'd take everything I've got to gain your trust again. But I love you too much to let you go just as I realise how _stupid _I've been" no longer trying to outstep him, Mara listened to every word he had to say.

More than anything, she longed to wrap her arms around his neck and bury her head in his shoulder. To smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. What Mara truly desired was the love of the boy she'd lost, which she felt was one scar on her heart that could not be fulfilled. How could she feel the same love she'd once felt from him, knowing that she must not mean that much to him, she _couldn't _mean that much to him if he'd once started to second guess their relationship. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And it disgusted Mara to use that word to describe someone she held so dearly, but when it fitted in every way, shape and form, how could she not?

"You don't mean that" she solemnly bowed her head, knowing that he was only half aware of the promises he was making. She didn't understand how she could have gone through so many different emotions in such a short conversation; anger, frustration, love, sadness, mistrust.

"Yes, I do. And if you'll let me, I'll spend every damn day we're together proving it to you. Because I love you too much, and know you too well to give up on you. _I'm _the one who _knows _you Mara! _I'm _the only one who notices how when you're reading and you shiver, it means you're tired and need someone to convince you to put the book down and go to bed. _I'm _the one who can tell you're upset, just by the way you style your hair in the morning. _I'm _the one who knows something's worrying you just by the way you take an extra second to respond to someone who's talking to you. _I'm _the one who knows that that song you were humming earlier was the one you and your Dad used to sing, which you only sing when you're missing home" he finished pleadingly, trying to convince her how much he knew her. But it wasn't enough to just _know _her anymore.

"You're also the one who broke my heart" she whispered, and although it was said with hurt and anguish, she could also hear the passion leaking through to her words. She felt unsteady and overwhelmed, and so grabbed a fistful of Jerome's shirt in her hand and leaned into him.

The smell of him was intoxicating and just being in his embrace again sent a shiver of warmth dance along her spine. Her breathing became heavier, almost as if she'd stopped breathing properly since his absence in her life. She knew that she shouldn't be doing this, that it would just be that much harder when he left her again, but somehow she just couldn't pull away. There, right then in that moment, Mara felt like her heart was somehow expanding and fixing its cracks as it went. With his arms wrapped around her in the tightest, most constricting yet entirely comforting and enthralling hug, she didn't care about the past or future, she was with _him _in the present and that's all her heart could bare her to register. Cautiously pressing his lips to her temple, as if he was scared of her trying to retreat again, he held her face in his hands and delicately whispered,

"I'm also the one who's going to fix it"


	5. Chapter 5

The following night wasn't a peaceful one in the house of Anubis. Unbeknown to the rest of the house, Jerome had been struggling under the weight of an intense inner battle, constantly taking over his strained mind. Losing Mara was one of the most stupid things he'd ever done voluntarily and he cursed himself for not realising it sooner, before he caused even more pain and turmoil amongst the never stable friends he'd learned to love. And it was because of Mara that he'd learned to love and appreciate them, to finally understand what it meant to have someone care about you and you them in the exact same way. Idiotically, Jerome had begun to question his and Mara's relationship when Willow first began to make her steadfast presence known. He'd sought change, and adventure, things that he'd began to feel his relationship then lacked. He didn't realise at the time the stability and the constant reassurance that he'd taken for granted in his relationship, or how much he'd miss it when it was gone. Or how much he'd miss Mara. And now that he'd lost her, all the things that he'd lost in the process immediately began to become evident as if in an effort to torment him. _Look what you once had_, they screamed.

Willow was nice. And that's the only positive adjective he could describe her with, because any other that he tried just reminded him of Mara and how Willow simply paled in comparison. When he began to date Willow, he didn't soak in the satisfied feeling that he first anticipated he'd feel. He didn't know what he'd expected, relief? Some kind of reassuring feeling that he was right when he'd decided that he'd rather be with Willow than Mara? But he didn't. And it was then that he realised what a mistake he'd made, and how it was too late. And so he'd suffocated himself in Willow, just trying to make her enough for him, to overcompensate for what he'd lost. But seeing Mara wrapped up in Eddie's arms, friendly embrace or not, he knew he couldn't carry on this lie that he was carrying around with him. He _needed _her and everyone needed to understand that. Even Willow, which is what he was in the middle of telling her right now.

"_What_? HOW COULD YOU?!" Willow screeched, flailing her arms above her head in utter shock and rage. Jerome couldn't help but imagine Mara saying those same words a few days previous, and how different the two girls were in comparison.

"I'm sorry, I know that I've given you false hope and that was wrong of me. But it would be even more wrong of me to continue to date you when I know that I still have strong feelings for Mara. I miss her…" he knew that he had to find the right balance of words; enough to make her realise that there was no sense in fighting but not too much to upset her. After all, he _had _enjoyed the time he'd spent with her. Well, sort of, when he wasn't thinking about Mara.

"You miss _her_?! WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T?!" Willow's stance was murderous almost as if she could pounce on Jerome at any minute, which was entirely possible. Her eyes were alight with anger and he didn't think he'd seen a girl look so non-girlish before. Now to say that Willow was upset was probably sort of accurate, but definitely the wrong emotion Jerome would choose to describe her current feelings with. What Willow felt was anger- all consuming, bitter, fierce anger.

"Don't think about it that way-

"WELL HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT IT?!"

Jerome really didn't have an answer for her on that one, though he could quite easily make a decently sized list to answer her question in his mind. Somehow, he didn't think that that would be the best way to go about calming her down and retaining a healthy non-awkward friendship. Hell, who was he kidding? Of course she already hated him, as she did the minute the words '_I want to break up'_ left his mouth.

And so he answered with the most honest and truthful to the point of brutality answer he could,

"I love her, and unfortunately it's just taken me until now to realise it"

This was closely followed by the throwing of a lamp headed for Jerome's head. Yeah, ouch.

* * *

In the living room, the Anubis residents sat in confusion and shock on hearing the argument filling the halls from a few doors down the corridor. Of course they could immediately tell whose voice those shrieks belonged to, and who was the one trying to calm her down. What they didn't know was the cause of the argument and basically the 'who, what, where, when and why' of its purpose. Secretly though, everyone suspected it had something to do with Mara as not only had she been quiet since they'd all walked in, but it was clear as day that there were some unresolved issues between both her and Jerome. As the yells and banging continued, Alfie decided to voice what everyone was thinking.

"Look, I'm just gonna come out and say it, has _that _got anything to do with you Mara?" Alfie appeared un-phased by the disapproving looks he was receiving from everyone around the room, simply shrugging at them before turning back to Mara.

"…I-I think I'm going to go to my room" she replied in such a soft and dulcet manner, Alfie almost missed it. She didn't feel like being questioned about what was going on between her and Jerome, as she had a small inkling that the arguing currently going on a few rooms away had a lot to do with what he'd said and promised to her earlier.

Turning her back on the people in the room in a very un-Mara like manner, everyone turned to glare at Alfie.

"What?" he questioned, dumbfounded at what he'd said this time.

Softly as her feet could carry her, she began to walk out into the hallway without drawing any attention towards her- though she doubted they'd hear the roar of a lion with the amount of noise being broadcasted from Jerome's room.

Her breathing became shallow on hearing the pleading tones of Jerome from down the hall, though too distant for her to make out any distinct words. To her, it sounded like he was begging for forgiveness, begging for Willow to forgive him for what he'd said to Mara. Jerome must be pleading for a second chance, stating how Mara was simply a mistake; a routine that he'd forgotten to break. She'd obviously take him back for Willow had undeniably strong and ever growing feelings for Jerome, she wasn't about to give that up now. Then he'd calmly take aside Mara the next day, and explain how he'd been wrongly misleading towards her and that it couldn't ever happen again because he was with Willow now and he loved her. And then Mara would nod in mock understanding, doing a decent job of acting the part of the relieved ex-girlfriend, how she was regretting the words that had been passed between them the previous day. He'd laugh in relief and glee, happy to have one less problem on his conscience. Secretly, Mara would hope that he'd see through her transparent act and how very not well she was handling all this, how she was simply acting in the way that she thought would make him happy. But he wouldn't see, because he was relying too much on the fact that she would indeed be okay, and that there wouldn't be another one of _those _arguments. And Mara would feel as if the pain she'd felt when they'd first ended had been doubled, because not only would she have had to suffer the heartache of losing him once, but twice. She had new wounds to add to her collection.

Realising that torturing her overwhelmed mind with possible scenarios that would leave her on the bank of suicidal city wasn't doing anybody any good, she instead carried on with her soft footfalls up the stairs and tried to think of something to occupy her mind with. School work? No, that would only get her more stressed on imagining the work load beginning to mount up on her dresser. Family? No, the homesick was already eating away at her insides, after receiving a yearning phone call from her mother just that morning. Singing? Though she'd never admit it to anyone but her shampoo bottle and showerhead, she'd always loved the gentle melody to succumb to when peace was hard to find. Alas, she could not break out into song in a house filled with so much strain and anxiety, nor would she want to display her singing talents (or lack of) to her housemates anyway. But there was no harm in a hum, and simply singing along inside of her head as she reached the corridor for the girls' rooms.

_Every night I remember that evening,_

_The way you looked when you said you were leaving,_

_The way you cried as you turned to walk away,_

_The cruel words and the false accusations,_

_The mean looks and the same old frustrations, _

_I never thought that we'd throw it at all away,_

_But we threw it all away-_

"And I'm a little bit lost without you" someone sang behind her, carrying on Mara's hum but with words as they wrapped their arms lightly around her waist. She didn't have to turn around to identify whose soft lips those haunting tones belonged to, or to recognise whose scent it was she inhaled deeply, reaching out to place her hand to cup his face without even turning around. He gently began to sway them side to side, softly humming the melody to the song Mara had started. It didn't match the rhythm of the words he was singing, but neither noticed nor cared. All they cared about was the embrace they held, and how perfect it felt at that moment to hold the person they cared about most in the world. No matter how complicated their situation had become, or how she still ached to think about what he'd done to her, she couldn't help but surrender to him when he captivated her like this.

Twisting round in his arms to face him, Mara began to count down from five in her head to retain what little composure she still held.

"Mara, you don't have to do that you know" Jerome's lips twitched into a semi smile, amused and yet entirely absorbed at the effect he still had over her. She'd told him once how when they first started dating, every time they finished a particularly romantic embrace, she had to count back from five to try and calm down the nerves that tingled in apprehension all around her body; it had taken her a while to get used to that sort of relationship. Now, however, her body hungered for that sort of touch from Jerome.

"I do when you catch me off guard like that, and when I think it could end at any given second" she bit her lip in anticipation, as if finally voicing her fears was dangerous now that they hung in the air, no longer locked in the safe place inside of her head where any potentially daring thoughts could stay.

"I broke up with Willow…I was wrong Mara, so incredibly stupid and wrong. You have no idea how much I've missed you and how horrible it felt to know that it was my fault that I'd lost you" he whispered tentatively, turning her around in his arms so that her forehead now rested comfortably against his- the touch was an accustomed sensation that although both were used to, both were more thrilled than ever to feel it again.

"Mmm" she replied, coaxing him to go on. She really had no words to spare for him, she didn't know whether if this was one of those cheesy romantic films that she loved so much, she would be yelling at her character to kiss him or tell him that he was a jerk and she deserved someone better.

Of course she knew that there was no 'better' when it came to Jerome; only different or worse. So she knew that it could hardly be the latter, but that didn't mean that it definitely had to be the first either. Her heart screamed his name in separation and sang it in his presence, and she'd envisioned him coming back to her a million times before and in a million different ways. Her head knew that her heart would never let her turn him away now, but realised that he couldn't simply decide that Mara could be his again. That it would be okay for him next month to break things off and try his luck with Amber, decide that she wasn't for him, and tell Mara that she got the privilege of him being hers again.

"No" she scarcely whispered, barely audible for his ears. Locked in his embrace, it almost felt wrong to taint the feel of his body pressed up against hers with such a negatively associated word. Desperately resisting the urge to secure his lips with hers, she untangled herself from him, leaving him with a confused and hurt expression.

"You can't snap your fingers and expect me to come running, just because _you've _realised that you still want to be with me. _I _never needed reassuring, thus _I _should be the one who feels like I'm in control of the relationship. You can't come here and demand my trust, you have to _earn_ it" she continued, slipping further and further towards her bedroom and away from Jerome. The separation already sent a steady yearning rippling through her body, but she had to ignore it if she was to stand by what she was saying.

"Does this mean I have to 'woo you' all over again?" Jerome's lips tugged into a brief grin, understanding that this wasn't her telling him 'no'; this was her telling him that they could be together…he just had to earn it. This he could do, this he was _good _at doing.

Without saying anything more, Mara simply raised her eyebrows suggestively, allowed a smirk to swallow her face before entering her room and closing the bedroom door behind her.

"Guess it means it does"


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, sorry, sorry for the long wait for an update. I've been loaded with exams, then I didn't know what to write or how to get to where I want this story to go. But it's here now! And some of you may also be wondering about the lack of KT in this story and the change in character for Willow. Well, since I live in the UK HOA airs later over here so I started writing this story before I'd watched any of Season 3. I only knew about them from other HOA fanficitons that I'd read so I knew that Jerome was with Willow at some point, I just didn't what the character of Willow was like. Anyway, back to the story! :-)**

* * *

Sensing the unusual loitering smile on Jerome's face and the unmistakable absence of Willow at the morning breakfast table, there was an undeniable question taking permanent residence in the air. They'd grown accustomed to Mara's sad eyes over breakfast and Jerome's guilty ones that always seemed to bring an air of sadness to the table. But today…today was different. Mara's tone was actually light and refreshed, as if she'd woken up from a great sleep and was revitalised and was even willing to share polite chit chat which had been a stretch for a few days. And Jerome, well, Jerome was positively beaming. He still refused to let his eyes leave Mara for more than a few seconds at a time, but now instead of pleading eyes that wept guilt and regret, they shone of excitement and anticipation. As house members filtered into the dining room and everyone took their usual seats with the exception of Jerome who still sat opposite Mara, it was to be noted that it seemed as though neither Mara nor Jerome paid any attention to this fact. If anyone else who wasn't as close with the two had been present that morning, it could have been observed that the two appeared oblivious to what was going on around them. But their friends knew that that wasn't the case- they knew exactly what their strange attitude was about and their friends' underlying question, they simply chose to ignore it.

Mara, continuing on in her unmindful attitude, sighed dramatically.

"Jerome, I've left my cardigan up in my room, could you go get it for me?" she asked as everyone continued to stare in wonder as Jerome bolted up the stairs so quick it was hard to process, before returning to Mara's side with cardigan in hand.

"Oh, I meant the other one on my dresser. Could you get me that one instead please?" and this time, no one expected Jerome to move. I mean, come on, this was _Jerome_. But once again, they were stunned to silence as he raced just as fast up the stairs before handing over the second cardigan to Mara. After swiftly returning back to his seat, everyone continued to stare back and forth between the two. Even when they went out, Jerome had never been this obedient to Mara so it was a shock to see him following her every whim when as far as the rest of their friends knew, he still went out with Willow.

"So…" Alfie began, finally deciding to speak on behalf of everyone in the room who currently shared the same bewildered expression, "are you actually going to tell us all what's going on or will you just reply with some cryptic, mysterious message that no one but you two will understand?".

"Jerome is righting his wrongs and showing me what I need to see" Mara replied in an offhand manner as if they were all supposed to understand what she was saying.

"…So the cryptic message then" Alfie eyed the two, trying to wrap his mind around what was going on. He knew that Willow had been screaming her lungs to pieces the previous day in the room he shared with Jerome, and that Mara had an unmistakable sudden lightness about her. But it was so out of the blue; they'd only broken up probably less than a week ago and even though he thought that Jerome had made a mistake by choosing Willow over Mara, he thought that Jerome was happy with the decision he had made. Evidently, Alfie could not have been more wrong.

"Jerome, would you like to walk to school with me?" Mara asked in a sweet and innocent manner, quickly followed by Jerome almost sprinting out of his chair to her side.

Leaving everyone in a daze of confusion and suspicion, Mara and Jerome walked out of the house in a comfortable silence, pretending to have not noticed their friends' confusion. The silence only lasted five seconds though before they both burst simultaneously broke out in laughter.

"Did..you see…their faces?" Jerome managed to choke out in between bursts of laughter as Mara keeled over clutching her stomach in fits of laughter herself.

After a few moments, they both managed to calm down enough to be able to stand up straight but neither could wipe their blissful grins off of their faces. Gazing down at Mara with those soft, adoring eyes she had grown to love, Jerome wrapped his arms around her petite waist and began to nuzzle her neck.

"Jerome…" she breathed, too caught up in the moment to remember how she was supposed to be taking it slow and making him work for her. _Who wants slowly_, she thought offhandedly before pulling his head up with her hands so that their faces were mere centimetres apart.

Closing the gap between them, Jerome pressed his lips against Mara's and she couldn't think of a time when she'd been happier. Lacing her fingers through his hair, she pulled him closer to deepen the kiss as his hands clutched at her waist so that her shirt rode up slightly. The feeling of his ice cold fingers against her stomach sent shivers dancing along Mara's body as she fought a moan. Liking the response he'd elicited from her, Jerome backed Mara into the wall of the building and began to draw circles on her side with his fingers as she happily continued to capture his lips with hers. The feel of Mara's small form beneath him made him wonder how he had ever even thought of giving her up, and Jerome vowed to never do so again.

He pulled away ever so gently so that their foreheads were now resting against one another's as his coy smile reminded her of every reason why she loved him.

"I love you, Mara" he whispered and gave her temple a soft, lingering kiss before she reached for his lips once again.

"_Ahem" _

A loud cough broke the two out of their trance and they turned around to be greeted by seven disbelieving faces. Sharing a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look, Mara and Jerome quickly untangled themselves from one another and stood awkwardly facing their house mates.

"Hey guys" Mara waved meekly, wondering just how much they'd seen of her and Jerome's brief make-out session.

"So, does this mean _Jara_ is back on?" Amber squealed excitedly, clapping her hands.

Jerome looked to Mara, the same question loitering behind his eyes; were they back on? They'd never really specified what they were anymore, even if they both knew it was way past the just friends stage.

A small smile gathered on Mara's lips before she turned her head towards Jerome, "yes, _Jara _is definitely back on".

They all couldn't help but laugh as Amber ran and tackled Mara and Jerome in a hug, soon followed by everyone else.

_Best day ever_, Mara thought.


End file.
